Groups: We need each other

When I ran a newspaper, we had weekly editorial staff meetings. We’d get together, do a writing exercise, and talk about the paper we just put out and the upcoming paper. We laughed a lot and heard about one another’s lives, thought about ideas big and small, and were happy to be together.

We had so much fun that when I set the paper down to do other things, this group decided that we needed to keep on meeting. We’re still meeting now and the group just keeps getting stronger.

We encourage one another to write the books, articles, memoirs, and funny bits we know we have in us. We do exercises that are fun, engaging, and provoking. We play games, we review our projects, and offer feedback for the next steps. We think about what works, and what doesn’t, both in writing and in life.

To be a good writer, you first have to be good at thinking and feeling. So while our group defines itself as a writing group, we encompass, like good writing, many aspects of life.

Over the years, I have come to value this group for their feedback, their support, their encouragement, and their way of calling life like it is. Together we have created a place where people can safely try out a new idea, a wild imagining. We can read a piece to the group and ask for what we want. Sometimes we ask for feedback when a piece of writing isn’t working. Sometimes we want people to tell us whether an idea is worth pursuing. We have people in the group working on books and we all look forward to the next installment. We read something we’ve written just to see how it plays, what it means to a listener. A careful listener. In our meeting earlier today, I read something just because I was happy with it. I simply wanted to share it with these people, these careful and generous listeners. 

All of us connected to this group go home and write alone. We sit at our desks and ponder our work and wonder, sometimes, if what we’re doing has any point. But sitting alone and creating something is vital work for any person who wants to live a full, rewarding life.

And spending time in a group is important to this vital work. When we share ideas we all generate better ideas. When we share our energy and enthusiasm, we all gain a little bit more stamina to propel us through our own projects. When we share our burdens, they become lighter and more manageable for each of us.

This plays out in other communities as well. Families that create time for meals together and other rituals are stronger for it. Companies that create cohesive, engaged groups are not only more productive and sharp, they’re a draw for employees who want meaningful work. Civic organizations get more done when the people working together have made it a point to work well as a group.

We want people to bring their best to their lives. A vibrant group or set of groups is part of what we need to support our best selves. Different groups have different goals, different unifying themes, different sets of agreements and understandings.

But whatever your group, it works best to make sure that the time spent together is engaging, enlightening, and inspiring.  

Today, in my writing group, one of our members brought each of us a construction-paper crown to wear. This writer spent a large chunk of his life as a toy maker, so the crowns were excellent. He brought them to celebrate Epiphany. Many of us in the group are recovering Catholics. This was an excellent bit. So there we all were, sitting in my living room, waiting for an Epiphany to hit us during our writing.

Nobody worried too much about looking foolish. Nobody worried about anything being offensive. Nobody worried. We just played and wrote and loved every minute of it. And we all left the meeting a little bit more ready for whatever we’re meant to do today. That’s the power of a good group.